Author: ANTONINO

by Fr. Bernardino Andrade
(bernardinodandrade@gmail.com)

My sister Matilde left home when she was fourteen years old. We were eleven brothers and sisters, and with my father and mother we were a family of 13. Living poorly in a poor neighbourhood we didn’t even know that we were poor. All the neighbours had the same life-style: no running water, no electricity, no streets. I consider my family a happy family. We had something that unfortunately has now been lost: All the neighbours helped each other. If one had no salt or sugar or a tool to do a certain job, a child would be sent to the neighbour’s house and would borrow what was necessary. Even a loaf of bread or a match, or a piece of live coal that was needed to start the necessary fire to cook.

I had two aunts working in the city, in a house of a rich family. They thought that taking my sister to the city to work with them would be helping the family. It would be one less mouth in the house to be fed. This was an event in her life that Matilde never understood. But we loved her so much and we felt as if she had been promoted to a better life. She was always very well-dressed; she would wear shoes every day, and she was very well fed. Besides this, she was extremely beautiful.

It seems that Madeira Island is small, but my sister would visit us only once a year… for Christmas. When she visited us it was a celebration in the family. We loved her very much and she loved her family. Matilde grew up and got married with a boy who lived even farther away from us. After three girls were born, all her family emigrated to Brazil where she dedicated her life to her family and to the poor, where she performed «little miracles» working with the priests of her parish and deeply involved in a national program of the Brazilian Bishops to work with very destitute children.

The first time I visited Brazil it was in 1983. Close to her house there was what they call «Favelas» or shanty towns. When I visited those shanty towns with my sister and the parish priests, I didn’t see «poverty». I only saw «misery». Pope Francis calls «misery» «poverty without hope». That’s what I saw. The last time that I visited Brazil, that «shanty town» had been transformed into a little town with beautiful little houses, with running water, with electricity, with a church and a school.

Matilde had a Bible group that used to meet every Wednesday. It was from that Bible group that this movement was born, and one day I was so proud to see Matilde leading a group of women to the city hall with big posters where three things were written to present to the authorities: «WATER» – «ELECTRICITY» -«SAFETY WITHOUT VIOLENCE».

It was Easter Sunday. I had a fax machine and she already had a fax machine too. Matilde sent me a fax wishing me Happy Easter and asked me to «forgive» her. I sent her a message back thanking her for her Easter greetings but at the end I added: «Matilde, I can love you, I can help you and support you but there is one thing that I cannot do. I cannot forgive you». Matilde got very confused with my fax, and started talking with her children «why can’t your uncle forgive me? What did I do?». Finally she wrote back to me, sounding a little sad and asked me: «What did I do that you cannot forgive?» And my answer was: «Matilde, if you want me to forgive you, you have to offend me first. And what happens is that you’ve never offended me». Forgiveness would be easier to understand if we realized that unless someone offends us, we cannot know what it is to forgive them. It doesn’t make any sense when we say that «I cannot forgive him / her because he offended me». Love is for everyone. Forgiveness is only for those who offend us.”

Love and Peace, FROM MY HEART TO YOUR HEART by Fr. Bernardino Andrade
(bernardinodandrade@gmail.com)

I COULDN’T FORGIVE MY SISTER
My sister Matilde left home when she was fourteen years old. We were eleven brothers and sisters, and with my father and mother we were a family of 13. Living poorly in a poor neighbourhood we didn’t even know that we were poor. All the neighbours had the same life-style: no running water, no electricity, no streets. I consider my family a happy family. We had something that unfortunately has now been lost: All the neighbours helped each other. If one had no salt or sugar or a tool to do a certain job, a child would be sent to the neighbour’s house and would borrow what was necessary. Even a loaf of bread or a match, or a piece of live coal that was needed to start the necessary fire to cook.
I had two aunts working in the city, in a house of a rich family. They thought that taking my sister to the city to work with them would be helping the family. It would be one less mouth in the house to be fed. This was an event in her life that Matilde never understood. But we loved her so much and we felt as if she had been promoted to a better life. She was always very well-dressed; she would wear shoes every day, and she was very well fed. Besides this, she was extremely beautiful. It seems that Madeira Island is small, but my sister would visit us only once a year… for Christmas. When she visited us it was a celebration in the family. We loved her very much and she loved her family. Matilde grew up and got married with a boy who lived even farther away from us. After three girls were born, all her family emigrated to Brazil where she dedicated her life to her family and to the poor, where she performed «little miracles» working with the priests of her parish and deeply involved in a national program of the Brazilian Bishops to work with very destitute children. The first time I visited Brazil it was in 1983. Close to her house there was what they call «Favelas» or shanty towns. When I visited those shanty towns with my sister and the parish priests, I didn’t see «poverty». I only saw «misery». Pope Francis calls «misery» «poverty without hope». That’s what I saw. The last time that I visited Brazil, that «shanty town» had been transformed into a little town with beautiful little houses, with running water, with electricity, with a church and a school. Matilde had a Bible group that used to meet every Wednesday. It was from that Bible group that this movement was born, and one day I was so proud to see Matilde leading a group of women to the city hall with big posters where three things were written to present to the authorities: «WATER» – «ELECTRICITY» -«SAFETY WITHOUT VIOLENCE».
It was Easter Sunday. I had a fax machine and she already had a fax machine too. Matilde sent me a fax wishing me Happy Easter and asked me to «forgive» her. I sent her a message back thanking her for her Easter greetings but at the end I added: «Matilde, I can love you, I can help you and support you but there is one thing that I cannot do. I cannot forgive you». Matilde got very confused with my fax, and started talking with her children «why can’t your uncle forgive me? What did I do?».

Finally she wrote back to me, sounding a little sad and asked me: «What did I do that you cannot forgive?» And my answer was: «Matilde, if you want me to forgive you, you have to offend me first. And what happens is that you’ve never offended me». Forgiveness would be easier to understand if we realized that unless someone offends us, we cannot know what it is to forgive them. It doesn’t make any sense when we say that «I cannot forgive him / her because he offended me». Love is for everyone. Forgiveness is only for those who offend us.”

Love and Peace,

Filomena, (her true name) was a young widow with three little young girls. With no studies, she has been one of the best lay leaders when I worked with the Portuguese Immigrant Community in California. We had the same vision especially about involving many people to help and mobilize many people. My vision was that I would prefer one thing badly done by ten people than well done by one person only. When we had any big event she would form three groups under the title of «Before», «During» and «After». The group «Before» was in charge of preparing the event. It could take hours, days or even months. The group «During» was in charge of working during the event. The group «After» was in charge of cleaning the mess and organizing everything that had been used, and leaving the place in good condition.

I admired her leadership skills, but what I most admired was her faith and her dependency on God. That was one of the things that most inspired me.

One of many little experiences that touched my faith was when she shared with us the way she dealt with the nightmares of her oldest daughter, Fernanda.

It was not uncommon that Fernanda, all of a sudden, during the night, would start calling her when everybody was asleep. «Mom», she would say, «I can’t sleep. I am afraid. I am seeing things on the wall». Mom would answer: «That is nothing. Try to sleep. I need to work tomorrow and you need to go to school. There is nothing bad in your room. Please sleep». But nothing would convince her daughter to stop disturbing all the family. Until one day Filomena found a trick that would solve any problem with any of her nightmares.

When Fernanda started being nervous because she was «seeing things», Filomena would simply say: «My daughter… please sleep because your mom is awake». It was like magic. Fernanda would start sleeping immediately and it didn’t take any time she was already snoring. She knew her mother was awake. She felt protected. She had nothing to fear.

It reminds me of the Portuguese hymn that we sing once in a while at our English Mass that goes like this: «I found God by surprise». In the Bible, God says for 365 times the words: «Do not be afraid because I am with you». It is like saying: «My son, relax… rejoice… rest… because I am awake. I am with you. I am protecting you. Remember that you are my son».

Love and Peace,
Fr. Bernardino Andrade

by Fr. Bernardino Andrade
(bernardinodandrade@gmail.com)

Father Mata was my Spiritual Director during my time in the Seminary. He was a man of short sermons, short sentences, deep spirituality and crucifying love for the poor. He was a living Saint. I always wanted to be like him but I have been far away from my desire. Maybe because I resisted in paying the price that he paid.

«There is no gain without pain».

One of his short sentences that left prints in my heart was

«Gratitude and humility are two irresistible virtues».

I would add that «Ingratitude and pride are two of the most hurting and disturbing shortcomings in any relationship».

Today’s Gospel (28th Sunday of the Year C) tells the story of ten lepers healed by Jesus. Nine of them kept on going. Only one of them came back and told Jesus “thank you”. Jesus felt hurt and had the courage to open his heart and ask

«Were not all of ten made clean? The other nine where are they?»

Ingratitude hurts.

2.

A little boy fell off a pier into deep ocean water. An older sailor, heedless of the great danger to himself, dove into the stormy water, struggled with the boy, and finally, exhausted, brought him to safety. Two days later, the boy’s mother came with him to the same pier, seeking the sailor who had rescued her son. Finding him, she asked: «You dove into the ocean to bring my boy out?» «I did,» he replied. The mother angrily demanded: «Then where’s his hat?».

3.

An old woman was in an extended-care hospital. She had some kind of wasting disease, her different powers fading away over the space of months. A young student happened to meet her on a coincidental visit. The student kept going back, drawn by the strange force of the woman’s joy. Though she could no longer move her arms and legs, she would say: «I’m just so happy and grateful to God that I can move my neck». When she could no longer move her neck, she would say: «I am so glad and thankful I can hear and see». When the young student finally asked the old woman what would happen if she lost her senses of hearing and sight, the gentle lady said:

«I’ll just be so grateful that you come to visit».

Love and Peace, Fr. Bernardino Andrade

When I was a seminarian, I remember one day, I started reflecting about my future job as a priest. And my reflection was based on this question: «What kind of job or ministry that other priests do, will I be able to do or not?». Finally I concluded that I would be able to try any job that other priests were doing, except for two: «teacher» and «journalist». Those two jobs were out of the question. I was sure that no Bishop would give me that kind of work. I didn’t like them and I knew that I would never be able to do a good job as a teacher or as a journalist. Well… years later, even before I was ordained as a priest, my first two jobs that I was supposed to do simultaneously, was a professor of religion and a journalist. Now I understand better the saying I heard later in life: «If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans».

One day I was in front of a class of little girls «teaching» religion in a public school in Mozambique. The theme was about our purpose in life. The question was «what do you live for». I even told them that if they went to the streets and stopped cars, or entered coffee shops or stopped people in the streets and asked this question, it would be interesting to find out how many people would be confused about that question.

I didn’t suggest that they do it. It was only an example. What happened was that they went to the streets, and to public places, with a pencil and paper in their hands and started questioning people.

«I am sorry for stopping you. We need your help. We are doing a school work. Would you please tell us what do you live for?».

Most of the answers were really funny. Nobody was impolite or rude to them. Many answered:

«I live for nothing». – «Thank you. Can we have your name?» «Wait… wait…»

The majority of the people started reflecting and giving more serious answers. This was in a small city where everybody knew everybody. When, in the following class, they told me about this experience I was glad that they had not asked me. I thought, and I think, that I know my purpose in life but if I was surprised with a question like that I was not sure if I knew how to formulate my answer.

It was Isabel, a 12-year-old girl, who taught me when she gave me her answer:

«My purpose in life is to continue the work of God».

In this field, Isabel was my best teacher in Theology. Since then, I was able to formulate my answer in a second. And learning how to formulate my answer helped me a lot on how to live accordingly.

«I live to continue the work of God».

What I find amazing is to discover that God needs us to build this world at all levels. Our purpose is to continue what He started and is still doing. Unfortunately we have two choices. One is to work with God and daily help Him to build a better world, or we also have the power to sabotage and destroy His dream and His work and slowly kill and destroy His project.

We have a choice. Planting a tree or taking care of a little garden, we are helping God to fulfill His dream and His project. A simple plastic bag thrown into the ocean is sabotaging His project. Freeing the poor from their poverty and alleviating the suffering of the world is an essential part of this project that involves every human being. And this is part of our spirituality

Love and Peace
Fr. Bernardino Andrade

by Father Bernadino

He was a scientist and was writing a book. Every afternoon he would go to the beach, not to swim, but to take advantage of the sound of the waves, the scenery… of the many kilometers of yellow sand, the presence of children splashing in the water and the gentle flying of elegant seagulls.

There was a small distance between the water and a small forest where there were trees that would protect the scientist from the sun. He would bring a small folding chair and for a while that space was his small office.

None of these apparent distractions were able to distract him from his job that, for him, was also a hobby. None of these activities were able to distract him, except for one. Every afternoon he could see a man «dancing» by himself on the sand. This man would bend down, would stand up, would open his arms and would repeat almost the same movements for a long time.

This «show» was happening every afternoon. It was something that started distracting him and then started intriguing him. He even thought if it could be a kind of religious ritual of some kind of religion.

Finally the scientist decided to unveil the mystery. He left his papers on his chair and full of curiosity approached the «dancing man» and asked for the meaning of that ritual.

The «dancing man» stopped for a while and gladly explained to his visitor:

«It is because in this water there are many starfish. When the tides rise up, the starfish are thrown onto the sand of the beach. The problem is that when the tides go down most of them stay on the dry sand and die. I come every afternoon looking for starfish that have stayed on the sand, and to save them, I pick them up one by one, and throw them back in the water. I know that those starfish are safe and alive».

The scientist, expressing some kind of disbelief told him: «But, my friend, there are hundreds of kilometers of sand on this beach, what difference does that make?».

The «dancing man» bent down, picked up another starfish that was close to his feet and said: «Does it make any difference to this one?»

The following afternoon the scientist stopped writing his book in the afternoons and joined the «dancing man», saving starfish.

* * * * * * * *
If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one. (Mother Teresa)
* * * * * * * *
Small things done by small people in small places change the world (Mother Teresa)
* * * * * * * *
What I do for others is just a small drop of water in the ocean. But without that drop of water
the ocean is smaller. (Mother Teresa)

by Fr. Bernardino Andrade

My niece, Ana, lived with me for some time in my Parish residence in the suburbs of San Francisco, California. Once in a while, when we had some free time, we enjoyed going to San Francisco, and spend some time in the Fisher Men’s Warf where we could eat a clam chowder from a bowl that was edible. The bowl was made of a round loaf of French bread which had a large portion of the middle cut out. It was really fun to stand or sit outside eating the clam chowder and throwing pieces of bread to the doves that were flying by or walking around us.

Ana was very creative. One day Ana told me that she would like to go to San Francisco, but get lost in San Francisco. No plans, no maps, no schedules. Just walk without any destiny.

But one day it was my turn to suggest something very different. In the same city, and walking through the same streets, I suggested:

«Ana, I would like to bring you to San Francisco to walk through the same streets, but during the night. I would like you to see San Francisco at night. I can tell you Ana, to see San Francisco at night is very depressing. The sidewalks of certain streets are full of human misery. We can see homeless men, women and children. Some are sleeping on pieces of cardboard, some are begging with babies on their laps; some are drunk, and others, slowly getting destroyed by drugs. The lack of hygiene is repugnant. This is what you are going to see in some «beautiful» streets of San Francisco. Ana… it is very depressing.» It was then, when Ana with her angelic voice told me: «Don’t worry uncle. I will put my blinders on and I wouldn’t have any problems».

On one of the Sundays when the Gospel was about the rich man and the poor Lazarus (Lk 16:19-31), I asked Ana’s permission to tell the story of us walking through the streets of San Francisco during the night, and the episode of using the blinders not to see the misery and avoiding feeling depressed. When I thought that she was going to feel embarrassed about her approach, she came to me after Mass and said: «Uncle! Next time you tell that story about the blinders, please be stronger».

In this story, Jesus doesn’t say that the rich man had caused any damage or pain to Lazarus, or that he had stolen anything from him. It simply shows the indifference of a rich man before the suffering of the poor. Some time ago I found this sentence that made me think:

«That man was so poor that the only thing he had was money».

In this story, the rich man has no name. He was only the rich man. The poor man had a name. His name was Lazarus. In the Gospel, for the followers of Jesus, helping the poor is not optional. It will be for each one of us the difference between heaven or hell.

The opposite of love is not hatred. The opposite of love is indifference.

< Love and Peace Fr. Bernardino Andrade