FROM MY HEART TO YOUR HEART by Fr. Bernardino Andrade
(bernardinodandrade@gmail.com)
I DIDN’T KNOW MY FATHER
Margarita, a 17-year-old Mexican immigrant from Mexico, was my parishioner when I was in California. One day, very worried, she approached me for comfort and guidance. Something very serious had happened in her life. Margarita was pregnant and confused.
When she shared her concerns and her fears with me, one of the first things I did was to congratulate her for being a mother and thank her for not having had an abortion. Her sister, Diana, and her brother in law were the only people who knew about her situation but they also were confused. How to tell her parents? Her father was one of those «strict and classic macho men» who smile very little. After some tears of desperation I told her: «Do you want me to tell your parents»? Her answer was an immediate «Oh yes, please».
I called her parents, her sister, her brother in law and also the father of the baby. We all got together in my Parish residence. I am not a straightforward person. Sometimes it takes me a long period of time to tell what some people would tell in just a few moments. Especially in dealing with sensitive issues I see the other people’s feelings as a «sacred land». After offering a warm cup of coffee I started going around until I broke the news. I still remember her mother interrupting me to say: «Do you mean Margarita? I thought you were talking about Diana». The shock was inevitable. The silence that followed took longer than I expected.
We kept talking but with lots of fear for her father’ response. Then he started talking with words of understanding for his daughter and how happy he would be by helping her to raise that child. I had mentioned adoption. But instead he also thanked her for not having had an abortion and adoption wouldn’t be an alternative. «We will take care of our baby», he said.
Everybody was shocked and in tears when all discovered that inside of that tough and «macho» Mexican man there was such a tender heart. And I never forgot the moment when Diana in tears said: «Oh my God! I didn’t know my father. My father was a tremendous surprise for me. He is such a good man and I didn’t know it».
In June the Catholic Church celebrates the Feast of the Most Holy Trinity.
The Mystery of the Holy Trinity is the fundamental mystery of our faith. The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit in intimate relationship with one another. They are three persons and one God.
When I was a child I learned, for my First Communion, that «a mystery is a truth revealed by God that we must believe but we can not understand». But I only fell in love with the holy Trinity when I discovered that a mystery is not something that I can not understand and period. I fell in love with the Holy Trinity when I discovered that a mystery is something that we can understand a little bit but that understanding will never be exhausted. The more I know about God the more I discover the immensity of God surrounding me with his unconditional love.
And it is in little stories like what happened between Diana and her father that I learn about my relationship with the Holy Trinity. Diana thought she knew him until the day she had this profound experience of a loving father that she didn’t know. God is a loving and daily surprise. But I need to be open to that surprise especially by spending time in long periods of prayer and service to others.
Love and Peace,
Fr. Bernardino Andrade,